What's helping me now? Why do I have hope?
Maybe it's because there is so much I can't control, that I've given up the illusion of control of my life, and realized its never really mine to control anyway so I should focus on what I can.
All we CAN control is our reaction to situations, what we choose to do (or not do), our focus and our attitudes. We can't control other people or what happens to us. We can't control the economy. We can't control government opening or not opening businesses. But we can control what we do each morning when we wake up.
When I'm doing life well I wake up early. Like 5am early. I know that sounds crazy to many people, and NO, I don't set an alarm, but this is when I am at my best and most clearly able to think. If you've never tried it and need to get out of a rut, I suggest you try. (See Miracle Morning for specific suggestions, though I've been doing it much longer than that book has been around). If you say, No way could I do that, I'm a night owl, try it and see how it works. I used to be a night owl myself and when I had babies late nights were the only times I could control, but my brain isn't as clear and I'm not as productive late at night, or if I am, then I can't sleep and it puts me in a bad cycle.
Waking up early gives me quiet time. I start the coffee and do Yoga each morning to meditate and stretch. When I'm finished, so is the coffee, and I sit and do my Bible Study and journal before anyone is awake and set my intentions and plan for the day. I have time to review my goals and priorities and set my daily tasks according to them so I can be intentional on my tasks and focus for the day rather than being in "reaction-mode" which is so easy to do, especially when you have others demanding things of you. And who doesn't...whether its a boss or kids or both.
The other thing I think is key is CHOOSING GRATITUDE.
Because when I'm thankful and counting my blessings (and there are many, for everyone, if you stop and really think) I am not focusing on what I'm missing or lacking, but what I want to thank God for.
Each day I spend time outside if it's nice weather, and move my body, whether it's working in the yard or going on a bike ride, playing catch with the kids, or walking around the block.
When I'm planning my day I write the names of several people I want to connect with, and when I get a break later I make phone calls or text those people to check in and let them know I'm thinking about them.
During this time I think it's important to keep a semi-regular routine. No, you don't have to dress up and wear makeup or be ready to leave the house at 8am. But still maintain hygiene and at least change from your night PJs to your day yoga pants :-)
Spend time doing things you enjoy! I understand you may be barely surviving with all the changes, increased cooking and dishes, etc. And if you have multiple kids under 6 years old you're likely to not have much time to yourself, but it IS good to have hobbies, so maybe you can trade time with a spouse or do something together with your kids, like a hike or bike, music, playing in the dirt, dancing or walk.
Listen to positive messages and people, and distance myself from negativity. The news can be a source of negativity, so monitor your reactions, and if you need to, limit your exposure. If you have negative people on your social media accounts, pray for them and maybe unfollow them.
And please give yourself GRACE!!! This is hard for everyone in different ways. While I don't know your unique situation I know we all have struggles and disappointments. It's not always easy to choose JOY but it's often possible.
If you're really struggling, please REACH OUT! You are NOT ALONE! It may look like everyone else is thriving, but that is likely not be the case. Or if they are, maybe they were in your place last week or last month. There is no shame in seeking help! - whether it be just a friend to talk to, a counselor, or maybe medication is needed to get over the hump so you can have enough energy and interest to start making changes - like exercise and hygiene that can get you moving in a positive direction... And I'm happy to talk to you too, so please feel free to message me! It's been a while since I've worked in mental health, but I have personally and former professional experience in all this.
This crazy situation has highlighted the simple life lessons I should be practicing anyway - connecting daily to my maker and submitting my life to Him, knowing I am not really in control of what happens to me, only my reactions and emotions.
"Shelter in Place" orders have put us back in our homes and forced us to connect most with those in our own households. To work on our communication and relations with those people who are hopefully most important to us. And this is often not easy. It has also highlighted the need to connect with others virtually. Social Distancing doesn't have to mean complete Social Isolation. Extroverts like me need to be around others (which isn't really possible now), so I make a phone call, schedule a Zoom or "Houseparty" with friends, or go out on my bike or a walk, where you will see real live humans out an about - like more than ever!
Live each day so you can be happy with yourself when you wash your face at night (yes, be sure to still wash your face, and brush your teeth)!
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